English Joke：女人

Women

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
　　
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
　
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
　
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
　
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
　
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her
　
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
　
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
　
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
　
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
　
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
　
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

All in all , to be a man is a hard work .


女人

如果你親她，你不是個紳士。
如果你不，你不是個男人。

如果你讚美她，她會認為你花言巧語。
如果你不，你不是個東西。

如果你贊成所有她喜歡的，你是個軟弱的。
如果你不，你是個不解風情的。

如果你常常拜訪她，她會覺得厭煩。
如果你不，她會指責你腳踏2條船。

如果你善於打扮，她說你是個花花公子。
如果你不，你是個無趣的人。

如果你忌妒，她會說那真是太糟了。
如果你不，她會認為你不愛她。


如果你誘惑她，她會說你不尊重她
如果你不，她認為你不喜歡她

如果你遲到一分鐘，她會抱怨她等了多麼的久。
如果她遲到了，她會說這是女生的權利。

如果你去拜訪別人，你就是不願和她獨處
如果別的女人來拜訪她，「喔，這是自然的，我們是女生。」

如果你久久才親她一次，她會說你很冷酷。
如果你常常親她，她會大叫你佔她便宜。

如果你盯著一個女人看，她會指控你搞曖昧
如果她被一個男人盯著看，她會說他們只是欣賞

如果你說話，她會希望你仔細聽就好。
如果你仔細聽，她就會希望你說話

男人真難啊！