Money From God
A little boy who wanted $100 very badly prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to God requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA," they decided to send it to President Clinton. The president was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. Mr. Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5, and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to God which read "Dear God, Thank you for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C., and as usual, those bastards deducted $95."
上帝送來的錢
有一位小男孩非常非常的想要100元，他祈禱了又祈禱，祈禱了2個星期，但是什麼也沒有發生。所以決定寫一封信給 上帝去請求那100元。
當郵局接到這封 ”美國 上帝” 的信，他們決定把它送給總統克林頓。總統收到這封信時印象深刻、深受觸動，出於好玩，他指示他的秘書給小男孩送去一張5元的支票。克林頓想這對一位小男孩來說似乎是一筆大錢了。
小男孩很高興收到5元，而且馬上坐下來給 上帝寫感謝函。上面寫著：「親愛的 上帝，謝謝你送給我的錢。然而我注意到為了某些理由你必須從華盛頓特區送來，像往常一樣，那些混帳黑了95元。」
2009年12月22日
2009年12月15日
English Joke：請讓我別遲到
Don't Let Me Be Late!
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. Again, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!...But don't shove me either!"
請讓我別遲到
一個小女孩穿上她最好的禮拜服，盡可能的快跑，試著不要在聖經課上遲到。她一邊跑一邊祈禱：「親愛的主，請讓我別遲到！親愛的主，請讓我別遲到！」
就在她一邊跑一邊祈禱的時候，她踢到了人行道的砌邊石跌倒了，使得她的衣服髒了而且破了。
她不理這些的站了起來，又開始跑。她再次開始祈禱：「親愛的主，請讓我別遲到！…但是，也不要推我！」
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. Again, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!...But don't shove me either!"
請讓我別遲到
一個小女孩穿上她最好的禮拜服，盡可能的快跑，試著不要在聖經課上遲到。她一邊跑一邊祈禱：「親愛的主，請讓我別遲到！親愛的主，請讓我別遲到！」
就在她一邊跑一邊祈禱的時候，她踢到了人行道的砌邊石跌倒了，使得她的衣服髒了而且破了。
她不理這些的站了起來，又開始跑。她再次開始祈禱：「親愛的主，請讓我別遲到！…但是，也不要推我！」
2009年12月12日
12/31歡迎參加歡樂英語New Year Party!
新年新計劃是什麼啊？快來Merry Moments的歡樂英語新年派對，
體驗動感英文，『說得出，做得到』，開心最重要！
歡迎大朋友及小朋友們一起來參加，體驗異國文化的『心』感受！
◎歡樂時光：2009.12.31 (四)晚間6:30-9:00
◎活動地點：台北市中山北路二段111號，雙連教會大樓804室。
◎活動內容：歡樂餐敘、相知相惜、動感英文、手創幸福、圈圈舞時間
◎報名熱線：(02)2331-4619或來信至en.merrymoment@gmail.com
現場有吃有玩有DIY有贈品，內容絕對物超所質的新年派對，歡迎大家一起來慶祝新年！
歡迎來電洽詢。
2009年12月8日
English Joke: 在商言商
All About The Businessman
A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow$5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.
So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The businessman replied, “Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
在商言商
一位生意人走進紐約的一家銀行找放貸人員。
他說他要去歐洲洽商2星期需要貸款5000元。
放款人員說這樣的貸款，銀行方面需要抵押品。
生意人交出一輛停在銀行前面的勞斯萊斯的車鑰匙。
都檢查過後，銀行同意把車子當成貸款的抵押品。
一位行員把勞斯萊斯停進銀行的地下車庫。
2個星期之後，生意人回來了，還了貸款5000元及利息15.41元。
放貸人員說道：「我們很高興能跟你做生意，而且這次的交易證明是非常成功的，但是我們有一個小疑問，在你離開的期間，我們調查了一下，發現你是個千萬大富翁，讓我們困惑的是你為何需要借5000元？」
生意人回答道：「在紐約，還有哪裏可以讓我停車2星期只收15塊？」
A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow$5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.
So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The businessman replied, “Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
在商言商
一位生意人走進紐約的一家銀行找放貸人員。
他說他要去歐洲洽商2星期需要貸款5000元。
放款人員說這樣的貸款，銀行方面需要抵押品。
生意人交出一輛停在銀行前面的勞斯萊斯的車鑰匙。
都檢查過後，銀行同意把車子當成貸款的抵押品。
一位行員把勞斯萊斯停進銀行的地下車庫。
2個星期之後，生意人回來了，還了貸款5000元及利息15.41元。
放貸人員說道：「我們很高興能跟你做生意，而且這次的交易證明是非常成功的，但是我們有一個小疑問，在你離開的期間，我們調查了一下，發現你是個千萬大富翁，讓我們困惑的是你為何需要借5000元？」
生意人回答道：「在紐約，還有哪裏可以讓我停車2星期只收15塊？」
2009年12月1日
English Joke: 吸血蝙蝠
Vampire bat
A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a bloody mouth.
They stare at him jealously and ask him where he got the blood.
In reply he asks them, "Did you see that tree back there?"
"Sure," they reply.
"Well, I didn't !"
"一隻吸血蝙蝠帶著滿嘴的血回到牠的吸血同伴身邊。
牠們嫉妒的盯著牠問血從那來的。
牠不答反問，『你們看到那邊那棵大樹了嗎?』
『當然，』牠們一致的回答。
『我沒看到!』
A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a bloody mouth.
They stare at him jealously and ask him where he got the blood.
In reply he asks them, "Did you see that tree back there?"
"Sure," they reply.
"Well, I didn't !"
"一隻吸血蝙蝠帶著滿嘴的血回到牠的吸血同伴身邊。
牠們嫉妒的盯著牠問血從那來的。
牠不答反問，『你們看到那邊那棵大樹了嗎?』
『當然，』牠們一致的回答。
『我沒看到!』
2009年11月24日
English Joke:謊言之鐘
The Clock
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "who's clock is that?"
"That's Mother Theresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."
"Who's clock is that?" "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."
"Where is Bill's clock?" Hillary asked.
"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He is using it as a ceiling fan."
謊言之鐘
希拉里死後去到天堂。在天堂之門，當站在聖彼德面前時，她看到聖彼德身後的一堵大牆上掛滿鐘。
希拉里問：“那些是什麼鐘？”
聖彼德答：“那些是謊言之鐘，人人也有一個。每當人說謊時，鐘的指針就會動。”
希拉里說：“啊，那是誰的鐘？”
“那是德蕾莎修女的。指針從未動過，顯示出她從未說過謊。”
“那個呢？”“那是林肯的。他一生中指針只動過兩次。”
希拉里又問：“克林頓的呢？”
“克林頓的鐘在耶穌的辦公室，耶穌把他的鐘掛在天花板當風扇。”
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "who's clock is that?"
"That's Mother Theresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."
"Who's clock is that?" "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."
"Where is Bill's clock?" Hillary asked.
"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He is using it as a ceiling fan."
謊言之鐘
希拉里死後去到天堂。在天堂之門，當站在聖彼德面前時，她看到聖彼德身後的一堵大牆上掛滿鐘。
希拉里問：“那些是什麼鐘？”
聖彼德答：“那些是謊言之鐘，人人也有一個。每當人說謊時，鐘的指針就會動。”
希拉里說：“啊，那是誰的鐘？”
“那是德蕾莎修女的。指針從未動過，顯示出她從未說過謊。”
“那個呢？”“那是林肯的。他一生中指針只動過兩次。”
希拉里又問：“克林頓的呢？”
“克林頓的鐘在耶穌的辦公室，耶穌把他的鐘掛在天花板當風扇。”
2009年11月17日
English Joke: 吝嗇鬼的派對
The mean man’s party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.
Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said,
"Come up to 5A and ring the doorbell with your elbow.
When the door opens, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個有名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要辦一個派對。
他向一位朋友解釋怎樣去他家時說：
“你上五樓A座，然後用你的手肘按門鈴。門開後，再用腳將門推開。”
“為什麼我要用手肘和腳？”
吝嗇鬼答：“喂老友，你不是想空手來吧？”
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.
Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said,
"Come up to 5A and ring the doorbell with your elbow.
When the door opens, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個有名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要辦一個派對。
他向一位朋友解釋怎樣去他家時說：
“你上五樓A座，然後用你的手肘按門鈴。門開後，再用腳將門推開。”
“為什麼我要用手肘和腳？”
吝嗇鬼答：“喂老友，你不是想空手來吧？”
2009年11月10日
English Joke ：太早購物
Early shopper
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner.
"What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
適逢聖誕節，法官審訊犯人時表現仁慈。
他問：“你為什麼被起訴？”
被告答：“過早購買聖誕節物品。”
“這不算犯法，”法官回應，“你有多早購物？”
犯人應道：“在商店開門之前。”
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner.
"What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
適逢聖誕節，法官審訊犯人時表現仁慈。
他問：“你為什麼被起訴？”
被告答：“過早購買聖誕節物品。”
“這不算犯法，”法官回應，“你有多早購物？”
犯人應道：“在商店開門之前。”
2009年8月30日
學英文的速度也要追上換手機的速度喔！
跟我這樣學英文-Mobility行動力就是英語新動力
現代人手邊有一兩隻手機(mobile or cell phone)及門號的大有人在，隨著手機型號(model)、功能(function)、外型(style)、傳輸方式(communication)的進步，學英文的速度跟得上我們換手機的速度嗎？有人說：『這兩者有什麼關聯？』當然，很多手機使用者也早就知道一些電子書功能及上網觀看影音的功能了。除此之外，手機也能代替電子辭典，只要安裝幾個JAVA程式，你的手機也能搖身一變，成為具有發音功能的英文字典隨手查，甚至是文化知識隨身典。不用花任何昂貴的費用，只需一首歌的儲存空間就能輕鬆搞定。
搞定了字彙功能之後，我們的手機還能帶給我們什麼聰明學英文的妙招呢？那當然要來談談RSS FEED了。現在許多網站都提供標題閱讀的功能鏈結，只要有以下三種圖示的網頁：
都可以訂閱該網站的文字資訊。以現在手機具有的高速網路傳輸的技術來說，在手機上隨時瀏覽CNN或BBC的即時英語新聞已成為許多英語學習者的學習新動力囉！想想，隨時隨地，想看什麼樣的新聞，就學哪些類別的英文。不受限於一本書內所摘選的內容，海闊天空，只要你有空時，打開手機，大指一點，就可以與世界同步，收到世界最新資訊。不懂的字，透過剛剛介紹，安裝在自己手機中的寶貝隨身典，輕鬆查詢加速學習效率。隨時隨地都可以是自己的英語學習教室喔！
要瞭解更多有關RSS的知識，可以看Yahoo對RSS的定義解釋
想要體驗手機隨身典安裝，可以看無名小站網友evldra的分享
有些手機還有側錄FM廣播的功能，除了錄下ICRT的內容，分段重覆聆聽。現在有很多電台夜間也都會播放英語老歌。這樣手機又可以代替mp3及收音機的功能了。有同學也很喜歡用手機的錄音功能，天天自錄唸一段文章，透過播放可以檢視自己的音調發音及流暢度，漸漸地喜歡上自己說英文的聲音喔！
然而比較不建議同學們下載影音檔觀看，因為聽廣播是完全靠耳朵的時候，這樣對於練習聽力是百分百的。如果是看電影，都常有視像及字幕幫助理解，對於耳朵的依賴較少。
希望每個熱衷於學習英文的人們，可以讓手機幫你更有效率地學習英文喔！ 如果你有更多用手機學英文的酷點子，歡迎推上來和大家一同分享喔！讓我們一起加油吧！
現代人手邊有一兩隻手機(mobile or cell phone)及門號的大有人在，隨著手機型號(model)、功能(function)、外型(style)、傳輸方式(communication)的進步，學英文的速度跟得上我們換手機的速度嗎？有人說：『這兩者有什麼關聯？』當然，很多手機使用者也早就知道一些電子書功能及上網觀看影音的功能了。除此之外，手機也能代替電子辭典，只要安裝幾個JAVA程式，你的手機也能搖身一變，成為具有發音功能的英文字典隨手查，甚至是文化知識隨身典。不用花任何昂貴的費用，只需一首歌的儲存空間就能輕鬆搞定。
搞定了字彙功能之後，我們的手機還能帶給我們什麼聰明學英文的妙招呢？那當然要來談談RSS FEED了。現在許多網站都提供標題閱讀的功能鏈結，只要有以下三種圖示的網頁：
都可以訂閱該網站的文字資訊。以現在手機具有的高速網路傳輸的技術來說，在手機上隨時瀏覽CNN或BBC的即時英語新聞已成為許多英語學習者的學習新動力囉！想想，隨時隨地，想看什麼樣的新聞，就學哪些類別的英文。不受限於一本書內所摘選的內容，海闊天空，只要你有空時，打開手機，大指一點，就可以與世界同步，收到世界最新資訊。不懂的字，透過剛剛介紹，安裝在自己手機中的寶貝隨身典，輕鬆查詢加速學習效率。隨時隨地都可以是自己的英語學習教室喔！
要瞭解更多有關RSS的知識，可以看Yahoo對RSS的定義解釋
想要體驗手機隨身典安裝，可以看無名小站網友evldra的分享
有些手機還有側錄FM廣播的功能，除了錄下ICRT的內容，分段重覆聆聽。現在有很多電台夜間也都會播放英語老歌。這樣手機又可以代替mp3及收音機的功能了。有同學也很喜歡用手機的錄音功能，天天自錄唸一段文章，透過播放可以檢視自己的音調發音及流暢度，漸漸地喜歡上自己說英文的聲音喔！
然而比較不建議同學們下載影音檔觀看，因為聽廣播是完全靠耳朵的時候，這樣對於練習聽力是百分百的。如果是看電影，都常有視像及字幕幫助理解，對於耳朵的依賴較少。
希望每個熱衷於學習英文的人們，可以讓手機幫你更有效率地學習英文喔！ 如果你有更多用手機學英文的酷點子，歡迎推上來和大家一同分享喔！讓我們一起加油吧！
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